Shikata ga nai (仕方がない)
Acceptance of the situation.
I used to see people the way I wanted them to be.
Not the way they actually were.
I gave them a better character in my head.
I believed in intentions instead of actions.
And somewhere in that…
I stopped seeing what was real.
In the past, when something felt overwhelming…
I would turn to someone.
To talk.
To be heard.
To feel lighter.
It is different now.
That option is not always there.
And for the first time,
I had to sit with what I feel
without trying to escape it.
But then one night… I remember it clearly.
I was sitting by the window.
It was dark outside.
The only sound in the room
was the water from the fish tank running quietly.
I looked at my reflection in the glass.
And for the first time…
I didn’t look away.
I stayed.
And I smiled.
And in that moment… nothing was fixed.
Nothing changed outside.
But something in me stopped running.
I didn’t need to explain it.
I didn’t need to release it.
I didn’t need someone to hold it for me.
I just stayed.
Maybe not everything needs to be solved.
Some things… just need to be stayed with.